The Valentine's Day Community Relationship and Bonding Soirée
by DancesWithSeatbelts
Summary: None of the Fairy Tail guild members would think of Valentine's Day in the same way again-a night of frolic, dancing and minor (for Fairy Tail) explosions.  Mira and Cana plot to ease Erza's surly attitude, roping Gray and Wendy into the action as well as stirring their spoons in other pots. A collaboration with impracticaldemon - check out her account! (Shenanigans in Ch.2)
1. Set-Up

**_Summary: None of the Fairy Tail guild members would think of Valentine's Day in the same way again - and the same could be said for their guests - a night of frolic, dancing and minor (for Fairy Tail) explosions. Mira and Cana plot to ease Erza's surly attitude, roping Gray and Wendy into the action as well as stirring their spoons in other pots. Mature shenanigans within the second chapter. Story conceived and written (and giggled madly over) by Impracticaldemon (FF dot net and tumblr) & DancesWithSeatbelts (aka nalufever a la tumblr)_**

 ** _I cannot brag enough about Impracticaldemon's writing prowess, mad skills with editing, friendship and generous nature allowing me to hog posting rights here on Fan Fiction ~ please be sure to go over to her account and enjoy her fabulous writing. Please be assured if we get enough response, we'll collaborate more. ;)_**

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 **The Valentine's Day Community Relationship and Bonding Soirée**

 **Chapter 1: Set-Up**

 **[I] The Planning**

Mira sat on top of the freshly polished bar and employed her brightest smile at Erza. "The Master gave me the go-ahead for the Valentine's Day Community Relationship and Bonding Soiree."

"Valentine's Day is an archaic idea." The red haired swordswoman crossed her arms and frowned. "The Master only wants to ogle more women."

"Of course." Mira's smile never lost any wattage. "There's nothing wrong with that." She cast her eyes over to a sullen Laxus and Freed dancing attendance. "We could use some fresh meat here. Don't you get tired of the same guys?" She giggled—Laxus could hear everything (dragon slayer senses doncha know) but she had a thick skin when it came to certain things; if he knew what was good for him and her and Freed—he'd ignore Mira's small verbal faux pas.

"Ugh." Grimacing, Erza looked away and let her lips pinch together in a most unflattering expression. "Not everyone is looking to sate their base desires at a moment's notice."

Cana took this opportunity to spin around on her bar stool. "More's the pity."

"Yes, Cana knows what Valentine's Day should be about," agreed Mira.

It took all Erza had not to growl. Instead she grumbled: "Why would any sane person take the advice of a demented match-maker or an inveterate lush?"

"Tch." Mira ignored the tone and content of Erza's words. "You really need something to take that wicked edge off."

"I am fine."

Cana drained her mug and shook her head; Mira looked at the red-head and giggled. "The cards never lie, Erza. You need some help."

"I am fine." Repeating her words didn't make her believe them any better either. The endless scuffling between Gray and Natsu, behind her, burned her last nerve. Turning, Erza glared at the ice and fire mages. "I will rip off your arms and beat you to death with them if you don't stop right this instant!"

Natsu pulled his punch, turning his haymaker into a friendly arm around Gray's neck. For his part, Gray grimaced but allowed the contact.

"We're the best of pals over here!"

"The very best!"

Lucy sighed and joined Erza, Cana and Mira. "Did I hear someone asking for help?"

Mira settled behind the bar once again and leaned forward. "We were discussing the 'Valentine's Day Community Relationship and Bonding Soiree.' It's going to be the best gathering of eligible mages in all of Fiore!"

"I would love to bond with my teammate." Lucy blushed as both Mira and Cana chuckled knowingly. Erza looked slightly less murderous. "Ah, I mean, a party sounds fun!"

"Then you can take first dibs on my list of what needs doing." Mira picked up a clipboard from under the bar and held it out to Lucy. "The budget for decorations is kinda low, but the Master had to double our insurance from the last party."

Lucy ran her finger over the list and considered her choices. "I do have mad skills at making cardboard hearts and I'm sure Lyra would love to play some music at the party."

Mira clapped her hands. "That's so great!"

Erza let out a sigh. "Valentine's day is dumb."

"Let me know when you start making decorations, Mira." Lucy edged away from Erza who was tearing a napkin into confetti. "Can I get you to deliver a pitcher of beer to Levy's table?"

"Sure!"

Cana picked up the clipboard and scrawled a few new suggestions at the bottom. Erza pulled it over and began reading Mira's list. Her expression got more dour by the second. "Don't you think red, white and pink balloons are overkill? Cupids are just babies with weapons, doesn't that send the wrong kind of message to children? They're going to think it's okay to shoot people with arrows."

Mira returned from her drink delivery and just leaned up behind the bar, watching Erza read and complain. She noticed Cana flipping her cards between her hands into a more and more complicated pattern - never a good sign.

Erza grimaced. "You want fancy ice sculptures from Gray? What's the point when he and Natsu will destroy them? Why make Reedus paint a romantic mural for people to have their pictures taken in front of when Wakaba and Macao will photobomb each couple?" Erza ran her finger down the list and stopped three quarters the way down the paper. She snorted her disgust and then ranted some more. "You're going to regret letting that restaurant cater. Their food is adequate, but they have the most wretched cake. Their pastry chef is some sort of back alley monster."

"Well, then I'd take it as a personal favour if you'd choose a better place instead." Mira crossed her arms and smiled with vigour. "Anything else you'd change? Perhaps the games I've selected?" Her smile sharpened further. "I'm of two minds over the dress code. On the one hand, I love the idea of fancy costumes all relating to fictional lovers—and on the other, perhaps elegant black tie for the gentlemen and gowns for the ladies?"

Cana took a big draft of her drink and stared at Erza, waiting for the swordswoman's reaction.

"It doesn't matter, and dressing up as romantic fictional couples is foolish." Erza scowled. "What do you expect single people to do? How can I match my outfit to Je—" xxShe bit off her word and took a deep breath before continuing. "Just specify formalwear."

"Tch." Cana smirked and rummaged in her purse. "I think I just heard my communications lacrima ring." She lifted it and read the caller ID. "Mira, we need to take this."

"Oh goody!" Mira clapped her hands, pulled Cana over the bar and frogmarched her into the back, calling to Erza to keep her suggestions flowing for the party.

 **[II] - Crime Sorcière**

Jellal was never especially cheerful at the best of times, but the last few weeks had been worse than usual. He really cared about Crime Sorcière, and tried to look after the members, but lately when he wasn't focussed on guild business he'd taken to withdrawing entirely from the team to go sit on his own. Meredy was still trying to cheer him up, but most of the others had hit their breaking point.

"It's that damn red-head," muttered Midnight, from his usual place toward the outer edge of the camp, seated on his square of silky carpet.

Even though Midnight still spent a lot of time tuned-out, Jellal's latest round of navel-gazing had gotten through even to the cruel-eyed illusion-wielder. He was starting to contemplate dosing their leader with some really wild dreams… but he didn't want to get his butt kicked, although it might almost be worth it just to see a crack in Jellal's armour.

"Of course it is," agreed Coba, looking amused. "Look on the bright side, Macbeth, at least you don't have to hear his thoughts—although he's pretty good at keeping them mostly to himself, thank the gods. Seriously, though, half the time he's thinking about what a saintly person she is, and the rest of the time he starts with her breasts and moves on from there, if you know what I mean. You wouldn't think it to look at him, but yeah."

"Wish he'd get laid and get it over with," grumbled Racer. "Who does he think he's kidding?"

"He thinks he's kidding everyone," Cobra answered with a smirk. "Which takes some pretty wishful thinking around me an' Macbeth."

"Yeah." Midnight rolled his crimson eyes. "I mean, I crushed him the first time we fought, and he still wanted to protect her, somehow. I've seen his nightmares, right?"

"Well, it's getting old, fast." Racer looked into his empty cup and got up for more coffee.

"The kid's out trying to make him feel better, again," noted Midnight. Midnight didn't really like a lot of people other than Cobra, but he had a bit of a soft spot for Meredy.

"We just need to get them together under the right circumstances," said Cobra thoughtfully. "You know, get him to work it out his system." He paused, contemplating just how long it had been, assuming it had ever happened at all. "Or least kinda take the edge off."

"Does that mean fighting or sex or both?" asked Midnight with a snicker. "She's freaky, I tell you."

"That's saying something, coming from you," Racer snarked, glancing sideways at his colleague's punk-goth styling and weird eyes.

"Whatever." Midnight stretched out lazily, leaning his head on one hand and giving Racer a look that made the other man twitch a little. Macbeth wasn't a good guy to push too much. "I'm all for our fearless leader getting some, if it means he'll stop with the pining for a while, but we'll never get him to Fairy Tail. What do you say, Erik—got any great ideas?"

"Maybe I do," Cobra replied thoughtfully. "I'll look into it and let you know. Anyhow, I'm going out for a walk to get away from you lot—and Jellal—for a while. Try not to miss me too much."

There was a pause, and then Midnight cracked. Usually it was Racer.

"With every shot so far, mind-reader—but only 'cause I'm not trying."

Cobra stood up, smiling faintly at the old joke. He waved a hand vaguely in the direction of the other two before walking off into the night. He had a pretty good idea of who, at Fairy Tail, might be interested in a set-up. Well, whatever happened it was going to be entertaining—that was something.

 **[III] - The Party**

Ichiya strolled into the guild followed by the Trimens. Several of the unattached women at the event stopped to stare and whisper amongst themselves. Eve made sure to smile and look at the pretty ladies from under his long lashes, Ren pretended to ignore the fuss being made, and Hibiki simply did his best to be pleasant.

"Excellent party Makarov," Ichiya said to Fairy Tail's master, "You've outdone yourself with the parfum of success."

"This is Mira's doing." Makarov's smile was only slightly devious. "I gave her some suggestions and she surprised me with this elegance."

"I'm not surprised everything is fancy, what with the sublime invitations that were sent."

"The what-now?"

Ichiya pulled an embossed invite from his breast pocket and enjoyed a heavy sniff of the vellum. "Ahhh, a most dignified parfum, it has the piquancy of youth and the gravitas of age at the same time."

Makarov nodded, his mouth zipped shut, hoping the leader of Blue Pegasus would not need an answer. He was flummoxed as to what he could say that would stop the short, red-haired man from becoming even creepier. It didn't matter though; nothing much could dissuade Ichiya from his normal weirdness.

Thankfully, Mira flounced up and tapped him on the shoulder while smiling at Ichiya. "I apologize; I must steal the Master for a few minutes."

"Quite all right."

Mira and Makarov forced smiles that didn't reach their eyes and scuttled away. Once out of earshot of Ichiya, Mira spoke softly to Makarov. "We're close to capacity but the guests I've been waiting for haven't arrived yet."

"I'm sure they'll be here soon."

"Well, perhaps." Mira giggled, "Remember to save me a dance later."

"I'd be delighted," said Makarov. "Let's be sure Laxus gets a front row seat."

"I'm counting on it."

Lucy shook imaginary dust off her frock and let her gaze wander over the massive number of guests thronging the guild. Eve had waved and winked at her just a little earlier—it had taken several minutes for her heartbeat to return to normal. But it wasn't just the fact that a cute guy had expressed interest in her—it was because Natsu had marched over to her and grabbed her hand, not letting go even after the blond member of the Trimens had slunk off.

Wendy found herself worrying about Erza. The redhead had been increasingly sour the whole week leading up to the party. This morning she'd acted especially strange, even for a guild member whose weirdness was legendary.

Charle sipped from her teacup, pensive as she gazed at Wendy. Making up her mind, she spoke. "You look as if you've just bitten into a sour plum."

"I do not!" Wendy protested. "I'm having a lovely time, even if there are so many people crowding our guild. So many… Oh Charle, I saw things I can't un-see!"

The fastidious white Exceed grimaced. "I was hoping that Max, broom and Laki would be more discrete, but some people have no class. Speaking of which…"

"Hi Charle!" Happy bounced over to his crush and grinned like the buffoon he was. "Classy party, right?"

"It was." Charle gave Happy her coldest smile. "Shouldn't you be hanging out with Natsu?"

"Oh, he's busy with Lucy." Happy waved to Wendy. "He's being very clingy. It's like Lucy's weirdness is catching."

Charle's tone was frosty. "That's not a very nice thing to say."

Oblivious to the undertones, Happy said, "Well, Cana said that they just need to bone it out. Or maybe get the bone out? But I don't think Natsu heard her and anyway he didn't bring Lucy any fish."

Charle gave Happy a look of total disbelief. Happy admired the way her delicate jaw formed a perfect triangle when her mouth gaped like that. Fortunately, Wendy had just turned toward the door.

"Oh! I see Romeo and Chelia!" Wendy smiled at Happy, "Please excuse me and Charle - we'll see you later, okay?"

Charle had her paws over her ears as she trotted off behind Wendy. "...I'll never get that image out of my mind! I'm may be sick..."

Happy's eyes widened, and he stood looking after them with hearts in his eyes and floating around his head, muttering ecstatically to himself. "Charle thinks I'm slick and she can't get me out of her mind!"

Elsewhere in the room, Evergreen sighed. Elfman was just only barely acceptable as an escort. He had found (the spirits only knew where) a passable suit that strained to contain his super broad shoulders and paired it with the palest pink shirt that matched the corsage he'd given her for her wrist. His tie was a dark blue, but Ever decided to forgive him that trespass—just this once—because it set off his eyes.

"Are you hungry?" Elfman wanted to throttle himself as soon as he asked such an inane question. If experience had taught him anything, it was that Evergreen would tell him everything he needed to know before he asked. If he asked, then it was always the wrong question. Maybe she'd keep it on the down low in front of outsiders. Shit. Her left eye was twitching—time for some grovelling or the after-party sex would end up being just him and his right hand like always.

"Do I look ill-fed?" Ever crossed her arms under her ample bosom. "Just because you eat every hour on the hour doesn't mean everyone else does."

Elfman kept his chagrin under control and deflected as best he could. "Mira said that she brought in the best of the best appetizers and I thought you'd be the judge of that." Now if Ever smiled, then it was crisis averted. Elfman hunched smaller in front of his domineering girlfriend. "I trust your opinion." Ah, that did it.

Ever preened. "I suppose I could go and take a look at the spread."

Elfman followed Evergreen as she sashayed to where most of the food was set up, on the main floor but near the entrance to the downstairs documents room. He grinned—Ever was busy passing judgement over the food, her back to him so that he was for once not under her microscope, and he was free to enjoy how bangin' her ass looked in her tight gown. Ooh, plans for later!

Nearby, Gajeel tugged at his bow-tie. Levy had insisted on it; she'd insisted on rather a lot of things actually. He adjusted the handkerchief in his suit pocket, marvelling again at how exactly it matched Levy's hair band. Dressing fancy wasn't all bad he guessed, not when his better half wore a low-cut diamante gown. The sparkles made him think of metal, which fed his appetite like nothing else could—and Levy knew how that would affect him.

"Let's go find Lucy—and try your best to behave with Natsu."

"Ghee hihi! What'll you give me if I do behave?"

Levy inhaled deeply. It made Gajeel sweat and his heart clench. Shrimp was petite but her assets were on mouth-watering display. That ass! Those tits! Tasty as fine carbonized steel.

"It's not a question of what I'll give you as much as what I'll let you do." Levy pulled out a pot of lip gloss and applied a new coat before speaking further. "Me."

Things weren't going quite as smoothly for some of the hall's other potential lovers. Somewhere between the bar and the front doors, Gray stood with his arms crossed and tried not to glare at Lyon who was smiling like a dolt at his wom-, his Ju-, his … friend. (He was failing.)

"Juvia thinks this is the nicest soirée she's ever been to."

"You're absolutely correct Juvia." Lyon adjusted the ice rose pinned to his suit jacket, his fingers twitching with nerves. "Because you're here, it's the most perfect party."

"What does Gray-sama think?" Juvia fluttered her thick fringe of lashes. "Is Gray-sama enjoying himself? Can Juvia get Gray-sama a drink?"

Lyon patted Juvia on her arm. "Allow me to fetch us all drinks. Ladies deserve special attention. What would you like?" He smiled at Juvia's diffident answer and walked off as Gray tried to place his request. Over his shoulder he glared at his rival. "You'll get what you're given."

"The party is starting to look up." Gray shoved his hands in his pockets - it was either that or he might try to hold Juvia's hand in order to stake his claim. Dammit! Seeing Lyon all over Juvia like a cheap suit was messing with his head.

The worst of it was that he needed to keep at least one eye out on the arrivals. Mirajane had blown by him earlier muttering something about Erza and telling him to make sure that if Jellal showed, she wanted help getting them together. Since Gray agreed that Erza was even more tightly wound than usual, he wanted to help—and if he could accidentally screw up any of Lyon's plans at the same time, so much the better. And what the hell kind of drink what that anyway?! He wasn't going to drink something bright pink with umbrellas!

 **[IV] - Smooth Operators, Part I**

Jellal allowed his group to flank him as they walked from the hotel that he had booked for himself and those of the team who hadn't been invited to stay elsewhere. By design, it was a considerable distance from Fairy Hills—bad enough that he had to see Erza at a party, it would be worse to be too near her overnight.

Meredy had skipped ahead of everyone, whether in a rush to hang out with other girls or just to get away from the same boring people he wasn't sure. Erik was rushing for his own reasons, which were most likely purple-haired and gorgeous. When Racer sped up, he figured that the man just wanted to arrive ahead of Midnight, who never looked like he put in any effort, but was irritatingly good at winning anyway and generally showing people (Racer) up.

Pretty soon, most of Crime Sorcière was rushing madly down the street, dodging pedestrians—mostly—and avoiding falling into the canal—again, mostly. Jellal turned to Richard to make a comment about being the mature ones, but Richard had a wistful look on his face, and shortly afterward he was charging down the street behind his comrades just for the joy of participation. It didn't occur to Jellal until he heard a resounding bang and the sound of splintering wood that they would all get tangled up a short way from the Fairy Tail front doors and end up literally crashing the party.

Jellal picked his way through the debris, wincing at the damage to the lavish decorations, not to mention the doors. And yet, he couldn't help but admire the irony of Crime Sorcière, with its coterie of fancy powers, being the ones to create a disturbance at Fairy Tail, which was justifiably known for creating its own disturbances on a regular basis. Jellal looked elegantly dressed as always, but it just seemed to highlight the caustic—and rather arrogant—antagonism of most of his colleagues. Despite his dismay, however, he noticed two things: first, Erik was having a quick chat with Mirajane, which he found odd; and second… Erza looked stunning in an evening gown that accented every perfect curve.

Even as he hastily dragged his eyes away from Erza, Mirajane came rushing over. Jellal squelched a sigh and managed a polite smile. Not that he didn't like Mirajane, but she tended to take an… interest… in his personal affairs.

"Jellal! You made it! I was just beginning to worry!"

She looked anything but worried, in Jellal's opinion. In fact, he thought her blue eyes had the particular gleam he'd come to dread. She was perfectly dressed, of course, and would probably make the front of Sorcerer's Weekly again, but he knew her too well to be taken in—especially when she wore such an innocent smile.

"Mirajane, thank you for inviting us. I'm very sorry about the, uh, door though, and-"

"I'm so glad you came—and the others too! You absolutely have to dance…" For an instant Mira's eyes seemed to darken slightly. "We spent absolutely forever deciding on just the right music. Oh and the cake—as you can imagine!"

Well, she'd managed about half a dozen sentences, maybe, without bringing up Erza. That wasn't too bad. Still, he was reasonably certain that this was just the beginning. Sure enough, at just that moment, Mirajane turned abruptly with a low cry of annoyance, and when Jellal glanced up to see what had alarmed her, he found himself looking straight at Erza.

With incredible—and surely staged—timing, a path had opened across the hall between the star-crossed lovers, and Jellal was looking directly at Erza's…

"Oh, wasn't it a shame that she dropped her dessert tickets?!" Mirajane was saying, with apparent sincerity.

Jellal frantically searched for a response that didn't include a cascade of scarlet hair over bare shoulders and very nearly bare… arms… as Erza bent over to pick up her tickets. Somehow, he'd managed to forget just how creamy her skin looked against the beautiful jewel tones that she loved to wear. From there it was just a short skip of memory to how soft she was to hold—although maybe memory had become blurred with fantasy. Jellal felt his cheeks begin to burn.

Apparently, Wendy had fumbled the dessert tickets at just the wrong moment, and then stumbled trying to pick them up. At least, Jellal assumed it was something like that, since Wendy was being helped up by Charle, as well as disentangled from whoever she had fallen into. A little closer to Jellal, Gray seemed to be having a dispute with Lyon, which was causing other people to stand back in concern.

None of which really registered except in passing. As Erza straightened, her eyes naturally went to Wendy, who was apologizing to everyone around her. And from Wendy they went fleetingly to Gray, and then directly to Jellal. Somehow, Mirajane was now standing beside the master of Crime Sorcière, instead of in front of him.

Jellal swallowed hard and crossed his arms, gripping his elbows tightly so that he wouldn't be tempted to reach out. His dark eyes finally met Erza's, and he almost recoiled a little. The blazing look she gave him was mostly anger, but he knew her too well to miss the longing that went with it. It was very, very difficult to turn away knowing that he could walk up to her right now and touch her soft skin and bury his head against her hair and, maybe, let his hands run over those wonderfully rounded hips.

He gave up trying to deal politely with Mirajane, muttered something about speaking with Makarov, and fled in the general direction of the bar, trying not to look as though his own personal demons were after him. It was a less dignified retreat than he'd hoped for, and it didn't help that the first person he bumped into was Cobra.

"So, tell me again why you're not off somewhere getting cozy with those breasts?" Erik's eyes were bright with amusement. Jellal felt his face getting redder, but he'd had lots of experience shoving the mind-reader out of his head when he really needed to.

Erik smirked at him. "Yeah, that's so not working right now, Jellal. Your concentration's shot and I don't think anyone needs magic to know what's on your mind."

When Jellal glared at him, suddenly looking far more menacing than he had in a long time, the former member of the Oracion Seis threw up his hands in mock surrender. "Yeah, okay, you're the boss, boss. But, uh, you might want to get a grip… on something, anyway."

With that parting shot and an audible snicker, Erik sauntered off, leaving Jellal wishing for a moment that he hadn't become one of the good guys. Fortunately, staring after Erik allowed him to finally catch a glimpse of Makarov. Completely unsettled by the directions his thoughts had taken since arriving at Fairy Tail, Jellal composed his face as well as possible and walked over to say hello.

Makarov sat on top of the polished bar conversing with his cronies. Wakaba blew a massive smoke ring, giving the master a thumbs-up. "Not too shabby. Lots of good lookin' chicks here for once."

Macao gave his best friend a dubious look. "For once? Best selection EVER."

"Keep it down or Mira will make my life hell—and yours too." Makarov glanced left and right, worry evident on his face. "She giveth and taketh away if you know what I mean."

"Yup." Macao nodded and then grunted. "I was married once."

Wakaba rolled his eyes. "Pfft. Like you could ever land a woman as enticing as Mirajane."

"I didn't say anything about Mira, but I could if I tried." Macao glared at his buddies, but shrank back at little at Jellal's stony-faced response to his bragging.

Makarov spat out a mouthful of beer and let out a long-suffering sigh before setting his mug down to make eye contact with Jellal.

Macao mumbled: "Well, maybe. Can't a guy dream?"

"So Jellal, my boy, have you been enjoying the party?" Makarov decided to move forward with the conversation. Mirajane didn't just have demon souls, she had the ears of a devil too—and too much reflection on her charms would lead to heads slamming together (whether it was her doling out the punishment or her brother crying both 'men!' and actual tears). Changing topics was not a hard choice to make, really.

"Most assuredly." Jellal nodded stiffly. "I've always been entertained by your guild members. Natsu in particular. How fares Lucy?"

"Lucy?" Wakaba asked, "You're asking about Natsu and need to know how Lucy is doing?"

Jellal furrowed his brows briefly. "Yes?"

"Natsu's just fine." Makarov set down his drink and leaned closer, the better to talk to the leader of Crime Sorciere. "Is there something you'd like to ask me?"

"..." Jellal gulped and looked askance at Makarov. "I have no idea to what you are referring."

Makarov laughed, loud and hearty. "Relax my boy! This is a party, have a drink!"

Wakaba and Macao exchanged looks (which read like WhatDaFuQ?).

"I still don't follow."

"Jellal, you need to get over yourself and talk to the woman!"

"I do not see your reasoning."

"Erza needs some of your attention."

"Erza might want my attention, but she doesn't need the attentions of any man. She's a force to be reckoned with, as strong as nature itself— " Jellal broke off his soliloquy praising Erza as Bickslow sauntered up to him and forced a tankard into his hands.

Bickslow flipped up his ever-present visor, leered, winked and cackled. "Time to party! Drink up dude!"

The five spirit-dolls flew in a bobbling pattern around the Seith's head and chanted, "Drink! Drink! Drink!"

Wakaba, Macao, Makarov and Jellal proceeded to consume.

 **[IV] - Smooth Operators, Part II**

He was here. She'd known that he would be, of course, since the party was an official event to encourage relationship building and collaboration between the guilds. Jellal always did his duty. Unfortunately, she'd forgotten how much she missed his physical presence. It was one thing to admit that his ideals, his sense of justice and friendship, and his quick mind impressed and captivated her, and quite another for her body to suddenly betray her by longing to be held against his tall, lean form and caressed by his strong, capable hands. She felt a shiver go through her, but she definitely wasn't cold.

For just an instant, she had thought that he would finally throw caution and scruples aside and rush to her side. Her mind had painted a picture of him kissing her passionately, totally unable to resist her any longer. Instead, he had turned away from Mira with an unconvincing smile and hurried toward the bar. She loved the way his deep blue hair was always slightly untidy, even though the rest of him wasn't. She wasn't aware that her fingers were tightening as though she could actually feel the soft, slightly springy strands.

"Um, Erza? Are you okay?" Wendy was looking anxiously up at her.

"Oh, Wendy." Erza smiled affectionately down at her young friend. For no apparent reason she wondered if she and Jellal might have a child with hair as blue as Wendy's.

Seeing that Erza was abstracted again, Wendy patted her gently on the arm and moved off to talk to Gray, who appeared to be drinking-was his drink actually pink? It seemed so… unlikely. Still, they needed to do a little more planning, apparently, if they were going to get their friends together for the evening. Wendy couldn't help but think that Erza and Jellal would look incredibly elegant and romantic dancing together.

Meanwhile, Erza was fully engaged with her fantasy world, one hand playing absently with the ends of her long red hair-she always left a few wavy strands to fall on either side of her face, even when her hair was up, as it was now. In her mind's eye, Jellal had finally told her that he loved her and couldn't live without her.

It was the night before their wedding and he'd come to see her, even though he wasn't supposed to. That's what made it so wonderful, of course: that desire for her had made him infringe on even such a minor custom. He'd kissed her-she almost thought she could feel his tongue exploring her lips and then probing more heatedly into her mouth-and one hand had-involuntarily of course-moved from the small of her back to her breast.

It was just as well that neither Mirajane nor Cana were looking in her direction, because the dreamy look on her face was rapidly becoming something more intense. Unfortunately for Erza, somebody else had noticed and even now was stretching out a delicate, well-manicured hand to say:

"Erza! My honey! Your parfum is—"

Hearing her name, Erza had turned, eyes shining and lips slightly parted to find… Ichiya of Blue Pegasus, his large face alight with ecstatic admiration.

Erza screamed. It was embarrassing, but there it was. The change from Jellal's much-loved features and sensitive touch to the vision in front of her was drastic, to say the least.

"Agh! Get away from me!" Erza wasn't afraid of much, but for some reason Ichiya's fawning (not to say drooling) attentions always unnerved her. Clutching her dessert tickets in one hand, and her skirt with the other, she rushed blindly away.

"But come back here my honey! Your parfum it is wonderful! So beautiful! So sensual!"

Ichiya was following her through the crowd, his drink spilling a little as he trotted after Erza's bare back and round, silk-covered derrière. Oddly enough, although he was slightly hindered by the throng, people didn't interfere on Erza's behalf the way they usually did. Or rather, a few people interfered, but not to prevent Ichiya from chasing Erza directly toward the bar, where Jellal had suddenly stood up, red-faced and eyes glowing with drunken fervour.

"I've got to find Erza!" he shouted, words only slightly slurred. "She's smart, an' powerful, an' nice to everyone, an', an' by the gods she has incredible breasts!"

There was a slightly muted cheer from Mirajane and Cana, who were watching their plans develop from behind the bar (with occasional forays for important activities like directing Ichiya in just the right direction).

"You go get those tits, blueberry!" Cana called to Jellal, downing half a beer. "Just take 'er away and don't bring her back until—" Mirajane put her hand over her friend's mouth at that point, because she could see Wendy turning red about thirty feet away.

Meanwhile, it had finally dawned on Jellal that Erza was rushing toward him, her expression disgusted and her wonderful brown eyes wide with fear. He wasn't sure why his head felt so muzzy, but even so he perceived the cause of her distress immediately. With surprising accuracy, given his condition, he aimed the tiniest charge of magic at Ichiya's feet and swung his beloved Erza up into his arms.

"Woohoo! Go get'er big boy! Make that grumpy ass allllll yours!" Cana had gotten away from Mirajane's half-hearted grasp and was standing on the bar to get a better view of the action. Fortunately, Wendy was halfway across the hall whispering to Gray, who looked first murderous and then grinned.

"Don't worry, Erza, I'll deal with this ruffian!" Jellal, all inhibitions flown and awash with chivalrous lust, glared at Ichiya and then kissed his beloved passionately on the mouth. Erza, completely at a loss, just stared at him, too shocked to even return the embrace.

"I am NOT a ruffian, you uncultured, undersexed, over-complicated-"

Jellal missed the rest of Ichiya's rant, as Mirajane was pushing him rather violently toward the front of the hall.

"I'll look after it, Jellal, but you'd better get Erza out of here! She shouldn't have to be bothered by such attentions, right? You should take her away from the guild for a while, right?"

"Uh, Mira?" said Erza weakly, at that point.

"Shut up!" Mirajane told her firmly, and for a wonder, the redhead obeyed.

From behind them, Jellal heard a roar of "MEEEENNNNN!" from Ichiya. Torn between defending Erza's honour and certain attractions of Mirajane's suggestion, that cry propelled him toward the door. He could easily crush them all, of course, but Erza might not like it and he had the distinct impression that there was a party going on. It really wasn't appropriate to get into a fight at a party.

He made his well-wishers hold their collective breaths when he suddenly stopped, frowning. It had occurred to him that at Fairy Tail, starting a fight might actually be the socially and morally appropriate course of action. Fortunately, Erza chose that moment to take a deep, bewildered breath, and the sight caused Jellal to lose track of what he'd been thinking. Wendy waved at him and opened the door, handing Erza a bright pink bag as Jellal trotted by.

"Your dessert, Erza! I thought you might want it! And some special chocolates that Mirajane said to give you! Happy Valentine's Day!"

She had to shout the last part down the street, as Jellal was picking up speed on the slight incline. He looked as though he might rush straight into the canal by accident.

A very short distance away, Gray was having a hurried conversation with the gondolier of a festively-decked boat sitting at the edge of the canal.

"Yes, that's right, I'm Lyon Vastia and I hired this gondola for my friends because they haven't seen each other in a while, if you know what I mean."

The gondolier wasn't overly-concerned, but he'd been told to hold the boat for a white-haired ice mage with a blue coat, not a dark-haired guy with a white coat.

"Are you an ice mage?" he asked, trying to be fair about the whole thing.

"Oh yes," answered Gray, smirking a little. "I sure am." He brought his fists together and murmured "Ice Make Floor!"

The street between Jellal and the canal suddenly sparkled with ice in the moonlight, and only battle-honed reflexes kept him on his feet as he skidded the rest of the way toward the water, tripped on the stone edge of the canal, and tipped gracelessly into the canal boat.

"They're just a little, um, warmed up, okay buddy?" Gray said to the gondolier with a knowing wink. "The guy's a wizard from out-of-town, usually pretty easy-going, but don't piss him off, right? Oh, and uh—" Gray gave the gondolier the name of the inn Jellal had chosen to stay at, in an attempt to stay away from Erza.

There were sudden shouts from the direction of the guild hall, and Gray told the gondolier to get going. Jellal had just sat up, rubbing his head, and Erza was tugging at the skirt of her evening gown.

"Gray! What are you doing?! That was-"

"Later, Erza! Just, um, look after Jellal for us! I think somebody spiked his drink and he's, um, not safe on his own! Bye!"

Gray gave the gondola a surreptitious shove with some well placed ice, and it suddenly shot ahead into the main part of the canal. Satisfied that he'd played his part as well as possible, Gray ran up the side of the street, avoiding the sheet of ice he'd created. He met Lyon halfway up, looking angry, Juvia hurrying along behind him.

"What the hell did you do with my gondola, Gray?! I had it reserved for Juvia and I. It wasn't easy to get a reservation tonight, let me tell you!"

"Is Gray-sama alright?" asked Juvia at the same time. "Gray-sama is missing his coat! Juvia will go find it!"

Gray looked down. Damn, he must've gotten distracted while trying to convince the gondolier that he was Lyon.

"Will you LISTEN to me, Gray! Are you looking for a fight? You better get that gondola BACK!"

Gray retrieved his coat from Juvia with a smile of thanks, which made the elegantly-dressed water mage sigh in happiness. Gray-sama didn't always notice when Juvia tried to help him.

"Not gonna happen, Lyon. I suggest you get over it. Also… I don't think Juvia was gonna go with you anyway."

Just as Lyon was about to respond, both doors to the guild hall burst open, and Natsu came rushing out, followed by Happy and Lucy.

"What's going on out here?" he demanded, looking around wildly. "Ichiya and the Blue Pegasus gang are taking on Mirajane an' Cana inside for some reason, but Cana told me to get lost and then I heard this guy shouting. He giving you grief?"

"As if he could!" retorted Gray, insulted.

"Yeah, but y'know he beat ya before!" taunted Natsu, ignoring Lucy tugging on his arm.

"HEY! I'm right here you know!" shouted Lyon, frustrated. "And somebody just stole my gondola!"

This caught Natsu's attention for a moment.

"You carry around a gondola? What for? I mean, you c'n just hire one if you need one, right?"

"I can go look for it!" Happy suggested, trying to be helpful.

Gray shoved both hands into his hair. This was getting out of hand. And Juvia looked really… nice… standing there all dressed up like she was-as her team-mate he should make sure she got to enjoy the party and he didn't think that brawling with Natsu or Lyon was going to help.

Just then, Wendy called out from the doorway:

"Happy! Carle was looking for you!"

Happy immediately abandoned all thoughts of canal boats.

"Really? Where is she? Is she hungry? Does she want some Valentine's Day fish?"

Wendy blinked. "Um… no. But I think she'd like to eat her dessert with you!" It had taken some convincing, but Carle had agreed to keep an eye on Happy. Not that Carle was as indifferent as she pretended, in Wendy's opinion.

"So, Juvia," said Gray, tucking his hands into his pockets and trying to look casual. Like, friendly casual.

"Yes, Gray-sama?"

"How about we go in and um, we can get some dessert too?"

Juvia beamed and clapped her hands together. Gray-sama wanted her to eat Valentine's Day cake with her! That was practically like getting engaged!

"Juvia would like to have dessert with Gray-sama! And if Gray-sama wants, he can have some of Juvia's cake as well!"

"Yeah, thanks Juvia." Gray sounded cool-he hoped-but his heart had given a tiny skip at the way Juvia had looked at him. Without a backward glance at the canal, he escorted Juvia into the guild hall.

Bitter at the failure of his plan for a romantic, hour-long gondola ride with Juvia, Lyon glared at Gray's back, but gave up the obviously unequal fight. I mean, if the stupid canal boat had been there-and Gray had been fighting with Natsu-then he was sure that Juvia would have come with him.

"So, since Gray's gone in, wanna go a round with me?" Natsu asked hopefully.

"Oh grow up!" growled Lyon, totally disgusted with the evening. "I'm going in to get a drink or several."

"Huh. Guess he really wanted that gondola," Natsu commented.

"I'm sure he did," answered Lucy, repressing a sigh.

"Well, you know what we should do, Luce?"

"What?" Lucy waited for the suggestion with something like hope but no real expectations.

"I think we should get some of that cake too! Erza chose it so I'm sure it's awesome!"

She stood there and just looked at the friendly smile Natsu wore; open and childish like always. Lucy knew her own smile was crumbling. Maybe she did have expectations - and they had suffered another crushing defeat. No keeping this one down, she sighed.

"Not in the mood for cake?" Natsu tilted his head as if seeing Lucy at a new angle would serve to gauge her emotions better. "Then let's go have some drinks." He offered her his arm, puffing out his chest as she accepted, unaware that his grin had turned prideful and a smidge possessive.

Lucy leaned into Natsu's welcome heat; escorting her like a gentleman—this was the stuff of dreams. "I'd love to."

 **[END of Chapter 1]**

 _ **A/N: The second chapter will be posted tomorrow ~ don't be afraid to PM impracticaldemon and let her know how much you liked this ~**_


	2. Pay-Out

_**Both I and Impractialdemon hope this second chapter blows your minds ~ after her impeccable editing, I found it hard to know which parts I wrote - she really lifted my usual style. Don't be afraid to PM her and/or direct reviews from this story directly to her. Show her some love and support and increase our productivity. ;) French translations at the end of the page ~ Please be aware, there be mature contents here.**_

* * *

 **Chapter 2: Pay-Out**

 **[V] - A Night to Remember**

Erza looked so mouth-watering gorgeous that Jellal surreptitiously checked for drool. The gondolier had pushed his boat three blocks at high speed away from the guildhall before slowing and using what had to be a prepared speech, talking about the romantic points of interest and giving anecdotal stories of the history of Magnolia.

As the gondola slowed, Erza judged it safe to sit up from her sprawled position on top of Jellal, gingerly pushing off his chest to lever herself upright. "S-s-sorry!"

Jellal grinned, his alcohol-influenced flush not as off-putting to Erza as it might have been, since his eyes sparkled like they held the secrets of the heavens. Without conscious volition, Jellal snaked his arms around Erza's waist before she could scoot further away. "Wass you goin'?"

"Are you ill? Who did this? I'll carve them to pieces!" Her chest heaved with the fervour of her words; nobody but nobody should ever take advantage of Jellal.

"I'm gooooood," Jellal drawled, more relaxed than he'd ever been when given the chance to look up close and personal at Erza's incredible breasts. "So goooood." He laughed and lost his train of thought—though it was more like it ran off the rails and burst into a giant flaming pile of twisted metal. He was only a mere mortal, and he could smell the enticing lotion she wore as well as see the expanse of sublime bosom before him.

"We must get you out of sight; the fewer people that see you under the weather, the better." Erza waved peremptorily at the hapless gondolier. "Faster!"

"Slower!" Jellal countermanded Erza's order. "Tell me more about the wonders of Magnolia."

"Look buddy, there ain't much more to say, this is a small town, and -"

Both Jellal and Erza full-on glared at the boatman, who recognized Fairy Tail's Titania and suddenly remembered Gray's warning about Jellal.

He gulped, his face first whitening with fear and then flushing red with blood as adrenaline kicked in. "This calls for a song!" He managed a thin-lipped smile that was more of a rictus, then inhaled and began singing.

Reinvigorated by the excitement, Jellal closed his eyes and hummed along. He picked up the melody and gradually added his own words, louder and louder. Singing with enthusiasm and a surprising amount of skill, Jellal was eventually belting out an impressive love song to his Scarlet Warrior. Erza was wide-eyed with astonishment and embarrassed delight, although a part of her knew that Jellal would never do such a thing were he not drugged or drunk or whatever he was now.

The boat scraped to a halt next to a weathered pier, the gondolier frantic to moor and unload his customers. He'd seen both sweet couples too scared to do more than hold hands and lovers who had probably been arrested for public nudity more than once. This couple fell into a new demographic - a crazy mix of shy and lusty, so hesitant to express their mutual attraction that he was afraid he'd soon scream at them to 'bone it out'—not a good idea if you lived on tips.

Never more solicitous than when assisting the person Jellal admired more than he enjoyed his own life, the leader of Crime Sorcière guided Erza out of the boat and then handed her the pink bag of dessert. She held it tenderly in her arms as Jellal scrambled out of the vessel, stumbling only three times, catching his foot on the support under the wooden seat and just narrowly avoiding making the gondola capsize.

The gondolier jetted away from shore, looking back at two figures standing close under the lone light source, the pink bag sandwiched between them. The blue-haired man gently brought his fingertips in to caress the beautiful woman's cheek. Even as far away as he was, the boat driver could see her lips tremble. He let his vessel coast, openly staring now.

The couple drifted closer and closer to each other, all the yearning a beautiful and yet frustrating thing to witness. Just a lip's-breadth apart, a giant explosion from the Fairy Tail guildhall lit up the night. Billows of scarlet, yellow and brilliant orange danced in the sky, the colours reflected on the water and in the night clouds.

"Well shit, no sense going back to see if any of those other mages want rides in the moonlight." Despite the ruined expectations of further fares, the gondolier began to whistle as he sent his boat homeward. "If my wife is sleeping, I'll just have to wake her up."

Erza let out a breath she didn't know she'd been holding. She and Jellal had almost kissed under the light on the quay. If her troublesome guild mates hadn't blown up/destroyed/ruined everything… then instead of scurrying inside this rather nice hotel, she'd be tongue deep in Jellal's tonsils. _La Maison d'Os_ (which locals called "Bone House", usually with a snicker), was located rather far away from the guild and Fairy Hills but still in the middle of Magnolia.

As soon as they entered, the clerk coughed and like a well-trained puppy Jellal came to a complete stop. Lifting one supercilious eyebrow, the hotel worker tapped his gloved finger on the marble concierge desk. "I gathaire zat you are ze principal registered to ze suite?" He had a highly suspicious French accent.

"Yes?" Jellal sidled a bit to the side in order to try to cover the beauty that was Erza from the man's possibly lustful eyes. No longer a worried puppy but a protective hound, he added: " _Et j'ai l'impression que mon français est meilleur que le tien, connard._ (1) I have pre-paid and hold a key card for that suite. Is there some sort of problem?"

"Oh no sir, not a problem." Having been exposed as a pretentious faux-French speaker, the night-duty clerk dropped his accent. "Your friends, and I use that term loosely, have renegotiated to procure extra lodgings for you and your"—he looked at Jellal with malicious eyes— "shall we say, _fille de joie_? Perhaps they procured her as well?"

About to give the tiny-chinned man some of her fist, Erza stomped forward. Jellal blocked her, not because he thought she was too weak, but because the man was only trying to wring some amusement from doing his petty little job—and didn't deserve the honour of being taken down by Fairy Tail's finest, loveliest Queen. "My companion need not concern you—although I will seriously inconvenience you if you persist with your vulgar insinuations."

The man's eyes dropped immediately.

"Very good, sir. If you'll sign this paper I can issue you a new key."

Jellal took note of the man's name tag. " _Merci beaucoup_ , Bertrand." He gave Erza what he hoped was a reassuring smile—but the alcohol and the anticipation of the evening was twisting him all up inside. It must have been not too lustful or weird; Erza was pressed against his side, her arm wound tight about his and the pink bag of confectionery in her other hand.

All the necessary signing of documents over, Bertrand (better known as Bert) pushed the new card key towards the couple. The gorgeous woman snatched it up as if she were afraid it was going to disappear. _Huh_ — _the guys who'd arranged the room upgrade had not been lying about either her sexiness or how uptight this Jellal guy was._ "Top floor, room 669."

"What?" Jellal wasn't sure if he'd heard correctly. He knew what he'd been thinking about, so it was more than weird to hear the desk jockey echo some of his thoughts. "Excuse me?"

"Sir, the new room is on the sixth floor, room 669." Bert fought to hide his amusement; he'd tried to tell management that putting the honeymoon suite in that room was just asking for trouble, but they never listened. Management had their heads up their asses for the most part, leaving the regular grunts to bear the brunt of the stupid ideas formed by them. "Please enjoy your stay."

Jellal nodded, loath to talk further with Bertrand, which was only delaying getting into the room and getting naked—that is, relaxing with Erza.

For her part, Erza felt just fine pulling Jellal away from the front desk. He was under the demon spell of alcohol or worse, and he needed to be taken care of. She lifted her chin and practically sailed toward the bank of elevators, Jellal caught in her orbit like her own personal star—or even better, as her own personal heavenly body (and what a mouth-watering body it was).

Inside the bridal suite, Jellal felt his jaw drop. The dark red walls were papered with real silk, the four poster bed was big enough for his whole guild to rest without touching and there was an ice bucket of champagne resting next to a giant arrangement of flowers and candy.

Erza dropped her pink bag and ran to the tray of petit-fours. Grinning she popped one in her mouth and selected another, feeding it to Jellal. "This is fabulous."

Jellal couldn't stop himself from trapping the tip of Erza's finger as she fed him, giving it the merest lick. He followed up that insanity with more. " _Je t'aime_."(2)

How could such beauty become even more precious? Jellal stared into her deep brown eyes, watching incisive intelligence become fuzzy with desire.

"Would you like to sample some of the dessert I brought with me?" Erza bolted over to where she'd dropped her pink luggage, threw the zip open and dove into the collection of cardboard boxes. Flourishing two promising packages, Erza padded back to where Jellal was still quietly standing. "Any strawberry cake is mine alone, but I must insist on sharing everything else."

" _Merci, ma belle_."(3) Jellal noticed and adored the jump in Erza's pulse as he used French. He was not one to take undue advantage, but tonight was a slice of happiness he wasn't about to throw away un-sampled. In such circumstances, no one could fault him trying his hardest, taking his best shot to savour the joys and delights Erza promised. " _Ma reine, mon désir, mon tout-en-tout._ "(4)

Suddenly nervous, sensing the passion under the foreign words, Erza set the containers down next to the flowers. "Did you want me to leave?"

"What makes you ask that?" Jellal was completely mystified. He hadn't always played by the rules, but he knew, dammit he _knew_ Erza would never leave him if she thought he needed her help. "No, I don't want you to leave." If she only knew how long he'd wanted to be by her side—free to walk with her in the light, to be her companion for the good times, the bad, any time at all. If she had any inkling of the depth of his adoration and love, she'd never ask such a thing.

"Well," Erza looked down and then glanced back at Jellal. "I don't want to leave either. I was struck by the sudden thought that there might be another woman, or, or person—that is, somebody who had a better right to inquire as to your personal happiness."

"Huh?" Normally more perspicacious than that, Jellal couldn't force any cleverer words out of his mouth. He hadn't imbibed any further alcohol, so it was unlikely that he was truly drunk—all those drinks had been ages ago. "You are the only one I aspire to happiness with."

"You mean that?" Erza swept a burgeoning tear from her eye. "You want to be happy with me?"

Jellal extended his hand to Erza and waited in silence for her to take it. Once she placed her dainty fingers in his grip, he led her over to a couch sized perfectly for two. Like the gentleman he was, he helped her to sit down, offering to fetch her a cushion or as many as she wanted. She declined and Jellal sat, turning to face her with his usual customary solemn look.

"We tend to take life very seriously, don't we? But right here, right now, I'm with you and it's as if every dream is coming true. Forgive me… but I don't think I can resist, this time. Yes, I want to be happy with you. I'd give anything to be with you. You are my greatest desire."

Erza was at once overwhelmed and delighted. Suddenly needing to look away, she used searching her bag as an excuse to cast her eyes down. She uttered an exclamation of pleasure when she found the chocolates that had been made especially for her… and Jellal. Instead of responding directly to Jellal's statements, she pressed a chocolate to his mouth and bit into one herself. They were incredible. Hers tasted of a heady blend of raspberry and bittersweet cocoa.

Jellal, pleased that Erza was finding excuses to feed him instead of running away from his declarations, was impressed to find his chocolate wonderfully rich but not too sweet (as he'd secretly feared it would be). He ate the whole thing, and licked at Erza's fingers for good measure. There was a glow of want in him now that surprised him. He thought he had conquered his lust better than this. In an effort to distract himself, he ate the second chocolate that Erza held out to him. The tug of desire grew stronger and even less manageable.

Jellal grinned; these chocolates covered in vibrant red and blue fondant were incredible. He licked the corner of his lips, intent on chasing a stray bit of chocolate; these were so delicious that it would truly be a crime to waste any.

Erza shifted in her seat, suddenly feeling very, very warm. It was not as if the silk dress she wore was heavy and making her sweat, but she was definitely overheating. And the way Jellal was staring at her, specifically her lips, was cranking up her furnace.

Mesmerized by his so-seldom happy face, Erza didn't move away as his hand gently reached out towards hers. Closer and closer—then she could read his intentions shift even if she didn't know exactly what he was going to do, and Jellal captured her chin with one hand while the other dove into her hair, cupping the back of her head.

A blush rose on Erza's cheeks. Heart hammering a frantic beat, she stared at the man who she trusted more than anyone else she'd ever known. She parted her lips to speak, and in that instant Jellal swooped in. Her eyes widened in shock and then fluttered shut, and Jellal closed his too. He licked the smudge of chocolate from the corner of her mouth. When she gasped, Jellal couldn't repress a moan, his lips shifting to caress hers, his tongue boldly roving inside and tasting.

It was if the world had stopped spinning—and then jammed on the gas to speed back up, wobbling off its axis, bouncing erratically through space and time. Having spent a fair amount of the evening imagining letting Erza's hair down, Jellal plucked several pins from the shining red lengths, tossing them to lie scattered on the floor. A red silk river flowed down her back and Jellal wanted to bury his face in it, inhaling the sweet scent of living fire.

He kept kissing Erza, both hands cradling her skull. Maybe he hadn't intended to let things go so far, but here they were, and there was no way short of an earthquake that he would stop now. Years of want, years of denial had crumbled in the span of minutes. Jellal realized that Erza had somehow climbed onto his lap and was pressing her generous breasts against his chest, wriggling her ample hips and making the most adorable keening sound in the back of her throat.

Diving under his fine suit, Erza splayed one hand over Jellal's pectorals. His heart thudded with the same wild beat as hers, crying out for more touches, more flesh against flesh and sweet completion. Tonight was theirs, and not knowing if tomorrow held the same chance meant doing everything she'd ever dreamed of _now_.

"Take me to bed," Jellal said. "Take me and let me take you."

First instinct: scream 'yes!' Second: just scream. Third: sigh 'I'm yours.' But Erza couldn't force any words from her frozen throat. Instead, she set her hands over his, which now rested on her shoulders. Pressing firmly, Erza moved his hands to where they could do the most good—to where she wanted them. His large, capable hands flexed, his smile became a look of wonderment. Years of imagining Erza's glorious breasts hadn't prepared him for the reality: soft, warm and immense.

Hands full of luscious flesh, Jellal followed his instinct, squeezing, savouring the sensation, trying to imprint it on his memories. He gasped as Erza landed a kiss on his ear and then licked a path down his neck. She nipped her way back up and breathed heavily into his ear. "I like where I am."

"I find myself enjoying our location as well—but it seems a shame to not enjoy the lavish bed."

"You make a cogent point." Erza slid off Jellal's tented lap.

Jellal scrambled to his feet (although other parts of him were already _up_ ), inclined a slight bow to his lover and then swept her off her feet. Her yelp and subsequent giggles were balm to his soul. Jellal knew he wanted Erza—and it seemed that Erza was in favour of the very same thing.

Over to the giant bed Jellal strode, arms full of gorgeous woman - heart full with love. Unable to resist, he kissed Erza again, letting her slide down his torso as she regained her footing. "First and foremost I am a gentleman—my crimes notwithstanding." Jellal had the grace to look shamefaced as he spoke. "Do you freely consent?"

Erza nodded, frantic. She'd dreamed of this moment repeatedly—and had envisioned everything they might do, over and over.

Jellal stood motionless, unable to accept a non-verbal agreement.

"Ah!" Erza flushed a deeper pink. Must use words! "I-I consent." She bit the corner of her lips, eyes gleaming under her fringe of lashes, directly into Jellal's. Swaying a bit forward, she inhaled deeply, pressing her chest against Jellal. "Have I your consent?"

Bemused, Jellal nodded just like Erza had and then amended his actions, forcing his voice into action. "You have my _everything_." He edged forward, Erza stepping backward until her legs hit the edge of the bed.

She smiled, holding his gaze like the queen she was. Never looking away, she pulled the zip of her dress down and let the silk slide to her feet.

Jellal felt like he couldn't breathe. Nude from the waist up, Erza stood proud, toe-to-toe with him. Half a minute into his wide-eyed perusal of her incredible form, he realized he was wearing too many clothes. Working with indecorous haste he stripped. Dress shirt, tie and jacket discarded like they harboured a plague, belt and pants forced open and skimmed down suddenly trembling legs, kicked off to the side and promptly forgotten.

Still smiling, Erza touched Jellal on his cheek and let her finger trail down his neck, across his shoulder, down his arm and come to a rest with her thumb over the inside of his wrist—his pulse easily felt—and her fingers curled in a secure hold. "It's rude to keep a lady waiting."

"My most sincere apologies." It was intoxicating just to stand here like this—poised on the threshold of a new adventure. "My lady, words are cheap—let me prove with deeds my love." Jellal reached out and brushed Erza's cheek with the back of his hand. "Words do pale in comparison to your beauty." He moved closer. "But please accept them."

Even wrapped in magical, buzzed warmth, Erza felt a slight unease. She wanted, but was still afraid of failure—maybe she would disappoint her lover. Maybe he'd find her lacking in seduction skills. Maybe—

Jellal had seen that concentrated thinking face before—it never heralded good news. Each and every time that confused and worried face showed up, it ruined his plans to listen to his base desires—just this once! Seeing Erza uncertain made him even more protective of her and made all the old objections come flooding back.

Time for a surprise move. "If you don't want me—if you aren't sure—then I suppose I should drown my sorrows by eating strawberry cake? At least it will remind me of you."

"YOU WOULDN'T!"

Ah, his adored, feisty Erza was back. "Distract me from that purpose, then." For good measure he winked. Bait taken: Erza sat down on the edge of the bed and pulled him on top of herself. Tumbling together, they rolled towards the middle, coming to rest with Erza pinning Jellal to the bed.

Her glorious hair flowed down her back and puddled in a scarlet lake on Jellal's chest. He looked at her hair and back into her eyes. Content to remain silent, Jellal waited for Erza to make her choice.

Pressing his hands into the soft mattress, Erza leaned forward and mashed her mouth against Jellal's. Earlier they'd kissed soft and sweet, learning the subtle give and take of passion—now Erza needed to brand herself on his body. She needed to lay waste to his sensibilities, pull every trick she could manage—if possible merge her soul with his.

Jellal wanted to free his hands and run them over those amazing breasts—capture one of those enticing peaks in his mouth and suckle before switching to the other, caressing every inch he could. Lying here, even with Erza kissing him, was a form of torture. Without being able to touch her as he pleased, it was almost unbearable.

Of course, kissing was fantastic, but Erza was forgetting that some of the very best action possible between lovers—hands to body contact. At that moment, the gorgeous red-head lowered her hips and ground herself against him—ah, this was wonderful! Still, not quite enough. Jellal bucked up and Erza felt the hard ridge of his arousal.

Erza felt a pulse of lust low in her belly. Abandoning Jellal's wrists, she dove her fingers into his hair, locking them in and yanking lightly. She pressed another open mouthed kiss to his lips and yelped as he flipped them over, with an impressive display of agility and a reminder of his strength.

This was heaven. Jellal hovered on top of his dream girl—panting and then diving in for another kiss—finally in control. Erza tasted of chocolate, now to discover how she _felt_. Jellal sent a hand down along Erza's collarbone, pausing at her shoulder—which way to explore? He snorted. There was no other real choice—he cupped a breast and watched, fascinated, as her nipple puckered.

Hesitant, he lowered his mouth to that straining peak—let his tongue reach out and make contact—making Erza moan. Encouraged, he suckled. Erza tossed her head back and forth, her voice breathy and wailing in turns. Switching to the neglected breast, Jellal took his time nibbling all around the nipple before taking it into his mouth in turn.

Erza clutched handfuls of bedspread, all in an attempt to keep her soul from leaving the earthly realm. This was amazing! Jellal was amazing! Was this real? Had she died? Was this the afterlife? Or a dream? She thrust her chest up and looked down to watch Jellal capture her turgid nipple between his teeth—to look her in the eyes, grin and bite down.

"Fuck!" Far gone into her lustful dreams, she was not the slightest bit embarrassed or ashamed; Erza wanted her lover to know how good he was making her feel. She had plans of her own to force, ah—encourage—Jellal into becoming vocal. Erza clenched her legs, the ache between them growing into a sort of burning need. As fine as his hands felt roaming her breasts, she wanted them discovering more of her body. "L-lower!"

With a wet 'pop', Jellal released her nipple. He arched one eyebrow and gave the merest nod before withdrawing down Erza's body, tracing a filigreed path on her skin with two fingers aided by the flat of his tongue. Stomach quivering, Erza panted as Jellal whispered his lewd desires, praises for his fairy Queen and promises of heavenly pleasure into her navel.

Petting the tops of her thighs, he shifted a little, the better to see her reactions. "No matter what, you can always change your mind."

"Do you want to stop?" Erza cried. Aghast at the notion, she began to struggle upright, only subsiding once Jellal shook his head emphatically. Relaxing, she lay back and grabbed his hand. "More."

A wide grin swept over his handsome face. "More? I'm going to need you to be far more specific."

She screwed her eyes shut and took a deep breath. "More... lower." She released his hand.

"I can do that." Jellal smirked and kissed Erza's knee-cap.

Her eyes flew open. "Higher!"

Jellal, on hands and knees levered himself upright. "Where?"

Turning the evasive answers back on Jellal, Erza asked her own question. "Where would you like to touch me?"

Declining to answer in words, Erza's lover made good on his promises—petting his Queen into a state of delirious lust. He stroked her to an aching climax, rousing her again with lips and tongue past the endurance of her voice; Erza soundlessly screamed her joy.

Jellal simmered with satisfaction. Pleasing Erza was a sublime experience—and now it was time to assuage his own ache. He pressed a kiss to Erza's forehead, patting her tenderly and yet also possessively. "Are you ready for more?"

With a tender grasp she sandwiched Jellal's face with her hands, stared into his eyes and just smiled. Fast as a wink, she twisted her body and flipped their positions. "What do you think?"

Erza pressed down on Jellal's torso, letting her fingers trail in the same manner that his had on her body. "Higher or lower?"

"All over." He groaned at the first touch of her tongue. Erza scraped her teeth over his nicely muscled pectoral, leaving tiny bites here and there at her whim. The tendons in his arms stood out as he clutched the bed sheets. Still wanting to be a gentleman, Jellal vowed to allow Erza the freedom to explore without any coercion.

Her nails raked through the light dusting of hair on his calves—Jellal moaned —it defied logic, but that had felt amazing. Her lips made brief contact with his upper thigh, skipped to the crook of an elbow, next to his wrist and back to his stomach. Erza's smile was confident. Her practical knowledge was catching up to her book learning.

Cheeks glowing brightly, Erza palmed and began to caress the contents of his boxer briefs. The way that Jellal gulped and swallowed air made Erza feel powerful. She must be doing this right if his panting was any indication—that, and the way he was biting his lip. Now, what would he do if she slipped her hand under the material?

His breathing became even more ragged - the blanket in his clutches was never going to be the same. He sucked air into his lungs, doing his best to keep from arching up into Erza's hand.

She marvelled at the complexity of textures; soft skin over turgid hardness, and wiry curls that must surely match… Careful, she watched his reaction to her every gesture, needing to know how best to please him. Her fingers grew bolder and she gripped tighter—everything in his response told her as surely as if he were speaking in words to her that he _loved_ her actions.

His moans, the almost-words he muttered, the way he quivered under her nervous touch; these things all inspired Erza to jump to the next stage of their mutual seduction. Climbing over his body, she kissed Jellal with single-minded intent. Erza locked him tight with lips, limbs and love.

"I want you, all of you … "

"Yes …"

More frantic kissing, wriggling out of underwear and then Erza paused—undone by doubts. She pulled back from his hot and possessive kiss, her face unnaturally pale. "I hope I please you."

It was as if he'd been hit (by Erza of course) in the solar plexus. A geyser of fear and self-loathing bubbled up inside of Jellal. He had to say and do the right things or else she'd suffer much like he had in the years after the tower of Heaven fiasco, worrying about how he felt. "Always," Jellal told her, lying quite still, "always I feel that self-same trepidation. Pleasing you has become my sole mission—not just tonight, but always."

Erza let out a shuddering breath. Jellal's words were true, sincerity shone from his eyes. "Let's work this mission together then." She smiled, her obvious joy and excitement dazzling her lover, making him respond with his own boyish smile.

Her hands and his removed his final garment, tossing it aside like so much trash. Back astride Jellal, Erza stroked his arousal. Soft squeezes, tighter grip, tickling fingers—she tried many of the things mentioned in the porn, uh, more _explicit_ literature she loved to read. It wasn't just getting to touch him, it was seeing his faces of pleasure as she learned his body. Every gasp he made, the way his muscles tensed; his stomach rippled like a river when she tweaked one pert nipple. Erza did her best to remember it all. If tonight was all she could have, then she would imprint herself on his body; death wouldn't be enough to tear these memories from either of them.

She descended her lips to the part of him that wept. No time to play shy maiden, she kissed the veriest tip of his phallus. He moaned and she was encouraged. It was … not unpleasant… but neither like licking a lollipop nor like playing a flute as some of her books had suggested. The sounds he made, though—those were heavenly. Gaining confidence, Erza sucked and tongued his erection in turns.

"Fuck!"

Her lips let go of his dick with a wet pop. "We're getting there."

"Oh no, we're there _now_." Jellal rolled on top of Erza, aware that if she desired to remain ascendant, then the move would have failed. "Are you ready for more?" He knelt, placed her legs on either side of his hips and gave her a lustful look.

Erza shivered, not from cold—rather, it was a visceral reaction to the honest desire emanating from Jellal. His confident posture, the fire in his eyes, his sexy smirk—all these things assured Erza that her mind and heart had made the best possible choice.

Jellal bent forward and captured Erza's lips in a kiss that promised he'd give her everything she needed and all she'd ever wanted—his love. Jellal took possession of one of Erza's hands and pressed it over his wildly thudding heart. He wanted to tell her 'all I am and have is yours', 'you are my sunshine' or 'never leave me.' Words weren't enough.

Erza slung her arm around his neck, clinging to Jellal. "Now my love."

Jellal gripped his cock and pushed half an inch into heaven. He pulled back and pressed forward a little more, slow and steady, until his Queen wriggled insistently and wrapped her sinful legs around his waist, digging her heels against the small of his back and whimpering. Hot hard length now painted with her slick fluid, he gained a measure of speed, all the while urged faster by her uneven panting and grasping hands.

This was amazing; Erza felt as if heaven was giving her a special preview of what awaited her at the end of her days. This intimacy, being joined in spirit and flesh—it was all she'd hoped and more.

Another breath-stealing kiss and Jellal rocked in and out of Erza faster, careful to leverage his weight on his elbows to avoid crushing her. He panted loudly, tracing the shell of her ear with his tongue. " _Je t'aime_."

"Jellal!"

" _Ma reine, mon désir, mon tout-en-tout_." Trembling with the effort to restrain himself, Jellal angled his hips and slowed his frantic thrusting—only for Erza to clasp his ass in her hands and squeeze.

"I'm _not_ some breakable doll!" Erza dug her fingers into his taut buttocks. "I want—" She tossed her head left and then right. "—I want—" The knot low in her belly tightened, flexed and demanded release. "—You!"

Erza's scream pushed Jellal into the embrace of wild insanity. The fluttering grip on his cock was unbearably good, his vision began to gray around the edges. His orgasm was imminent: the base of his spine tingled; sounds were muted; but the scarlet of his warrior's hair was still vibrant. Her honeyed cleft tightened. Tremors made her limbs shake as together they surfed a giant wave of satisfaction.

 **[VI] - Morning Glory**

Jellal awoke to the first, faint light of pre-dawn. He had obviously fallen asleep, which wasn't surprising considering… everything. His head ached a little—he assumed from the alcohol, although he had also suspicions about the treats that Erza had been given. Not that he could blame those who cared about them for wanting him and Erza to finally give in and—what was the expression he had heard? —"bone it out".

He didn't dare do more than turn his head, looking first at the gray February sky, and then back at Erza, sleeping quietly tucked up against his body. It was more than he'd dreamed of—well, no, it was exactly what he'd dreamed of. Both now and last night. And there was no going back. No telling her to forget and let him go. Aside from what he wanted, he couldn't—shouldn't—make love to her, take everything she had to give, and then tell her they could never be together again.

Or maybe that was still just desperate rationalizing? He forced himself stare back out at the sky and concluded that maybe it wasn't. How could he, in all decency, hurt her by leaving her now? The balance had changed. The hurt he would inflict by staying away was no longer so obviously minor compared to saving her from his past darkness and his unforgivable crimes. Leaving Erza after being with her like this would be a crime in itself. Even if they couldn't see each other often, they needed to work something out, unless Erza herself wanted nothing to do with him now.

Only years of discipline prevented him from swearing aloud in frustration. The best—the absolute best—night he had ever spent, the night he would never forget, the night that all his dreams had come true, would likely prevent him from protecting Erza in the future. If she woke up and claimed a future with him, he couldn't in good conscience deny her, could he?

There was a whisper of motion, and suddenly Erza was upright beside him, her hand pressing heavily against his chest, her eyes a little wild. Her bright hair cascaded around her.

"What?! But—what?!" Her breathing steadied as she took in the room, Jellal, the pink bag (now empty) and Jellal again. Her face flushed, and she curled an arm protectively over her breasts.

Jellal stayed silent, waiting for her to process things. He found himself on edge—a criminal waiting to know if, perhaps, an early parole were possible. He kept his hands carefully at his sides, although they longed to touch her.

"You're lying there regretting things, aren't you?" Erza demanded abruptly. "Wondering whether you can just let me go again."

The question—and the anger—was born out of past experience, Jellal knew. He found himself answering before he knew what he was doing.

"I'm lying here wanting to touch you again," he said, frankly. "You are absolutely the most incredible woman in the world and I want to be with you in every possible way."

Erza blinked, shocked, trying to understand what had happened and what had changed.

"You'll—you—Jellal, you won't just leave me this time? No more unnecessary grief over being unfit for my company?"

"I will never be fit for your company. But you want _my_ company and I'm going to have to try it your way now. Besides, I completely admit that your way is infinitely more pleasurable than mine."

Erza stared down at him, and he saw that the brightness in her eyes was currently from unshed tears.

"You mean it? I don't have to be lonely for you any longer? It's really over?"

"We'll have to decide how we want to manage things, but I will depend on you to decide what we can and can't do. Also, we each need to honour any other commitments we might have. In terms of my decision not to get involved with you, and to stay away from you—I don't think I can do that anymore, unless it's what you want."

Erza shook her head almost violently in denial. She stretched out again on the bed, reached out and tangled her fingers in Jellal's blue hair, kissing him hard. When she felt that she had conveyed her answer, she relaxed slightly and curled up against his body.

"Do you suppose that we need to get up now?" she asked tentatively.

"You mean, should we go and see what our guild-mates have done to the hall and Magnolia and each other?" Jellal laughed softly and brushed a red hair out of Erza's face. Then he allowed his fingers to trace her collarbone before alighting on one of her incredible breasts. "What do you think?" His other hand found the back of her neck so that he could pull her mouth back against his. He threw a leg over hers, so that he had her partially trapped underneath him, thrilling to the feeling of their bodies together after so long. Just for the morning, at least, to hell with any of the rest of the world.

Erza felt desire well up again in her lower abdomen, even less controllable now that her body knew how good it could feel. She wondered, very briefly, what on earth had happened at the guild after they had been dumped so unceremoniously into that canal boat. Then sensation took over, and her moderate-at-best curiosity disappeared completely as Jellal's hands caressed and teased her into panting arousal.

 **[EPILOGUE]**

It was very late the morning after the party, and the guildhall was almost deserted.

At the bar, Cana tipped the last of her drink down her throat and slammed down her empty mug. "Mira, you sure know how to manage a party."

"Thank you, you were an excellent accomplice, I mean, assistant." The barmaid giggled. "It was a stroke of genius to give Evergreen those leftover enchanted bon bons."

"I've never seen her molest anyone in public before—and I hope to never see so much of your brother's body again." Cana shuddered and tacked on: "No offence."

"None taken." Mira trilled. "So you mean to say you've seen her molest people in private?" She shook her head and pursed her lips in a moue of disgust at that thought. "Did you see poor Lyon after Erza and Jellal appropriated his gondola?"

"Oh, Meredy gave him something to think about while Juvia and Gray danced." Cana smirked. "I fed her one of the extra chocolates." The glint in her eye was just as maniacal as the demon match-maker's. "I was wondering if you'd eaten some too - I saw you dancing with Freed and Laxus at the same time. Talk about playing with fire—or rather, lightning."

"Don't be silly, it wasn't just _dancing_." Mira's smile took on a Sitri edge. "And I don't need that kind of help."

"Just like the double pairs of Sabretooth twins."

Honestly puzzled, Mira leaned on the bar and looked at Cana with a 'tell me more' expression.

"Every dance they danced together— all of them— _all together_." Cana emphasized 'all together' with air quotes. "I can't believe you didn't notice them making one big happy. Not like I care, but I couldn't tell who was with whom."

"Oooooh." Mira giggled, swiping her bar rag over the counter. "A giant Happy! Of course, that's happened before."

Upstairs from the two women, Happy was smiling in his sleep.

The night before he had hung out with Romeo, Chelia, Wendy and (of course) Charle. He had brought them drinks and snacks, and Charle had told him that he was "surprisingly useful". She had also let him sit beside her all night, or at least until Wendy had gone to bed. Under one paw rested the remains of a large, blue-topped chocolate, now melting away in the heat of the napping Exceed. Cana had given it to him and told him to share it with Charle the next time they were alone.

In a different sitting room, Juvia opened one eye to survey her surroundings. She knew every lump and bump of her mattress—and what she was lying on was very much not her bed, nor even a bed at all. She stretched out her legs and encountered what could only be the arm of a couch.

She lifted her head, and discovered she wasn't using a pillow—this was a lap. Not just any lap! Gray-sama! Oh what had she done? Scrambling to sit upright, Juvia accidently pushed Gray onto the floor.

"What the hell?!"

Juvia wished for invisibility. Or a hole to disappear into—or a fairy godmother who would wave her wand and fix this embarrassing mess.

"How do you figure this is embarrassing?" Gray enquired. "I'm fully dressed … for once." He chuckled and extended his hand to Juvia. "Help me up?"

"Juvia did not realize she was speaking aloud." Hesitant, she reached out took Gray's hand. "Juvia must apologize!"

With a slight groan, Gray gained his feet with Juvia's help. "I suppose I should be glad you didn't turn to water and leave."

"..."

Gray scratched the back of his neck and colour rose on his cheeks. "I asked you to stay last night." He winced and hurried to continue his explanation. "We had a really good time last night, I just wanted to keep talking - then it got super late and we were both too drunk to walk you home."

"Juvia understands. Gray is always considerate of his friends, even Juvia who is -"

"Lemme stop you there. I don't think you do understand." Gray sat on the couch right next to the water mage and turned his head to look her straight in the eyes. "I want to have a relationship with you. I think we should bone it out."

The unfamiliar line half-woke Juvia from her deep slumber, but she snuggled down quickly under her soft blue comforter. This was her favourite dream, and the good part was coming up.

"Yes! Juvia wants to make love with Gray-sama!"

Gray hauled Juvia onto his lap and pressed a flurry of kisses to her face and neck all the while murmuring his love and admiration. It was even more wonderful than usual…

Back in the main room of the guildhall, Lucy and Levy were busy with clean-up.

"Uh, Lucy, do you see what I see?" Levy scrunched her eyebrows and turned to look at her blonde friend.

"What is it, Levy?"

"... That's—did you notice the initials?"

Lucy paused in her folding of her half of the Valentine's Day Community Relationship And Bonding Soiree banner, taking the large, brightly-painted first letter of each word. She felt her face flush, looked at Levy, and saw the same colour and expression on the other woman's face. It was no use trying to keep it together—they both burst out laughing and looked over at the bar. Mirajane gave them each a gentle, innocent smile, and went back to her conversation with Cana.

 **[END]**

* * *

 **A/N: We hope this made you laugh and squee just like we both did as we wrote this.**

 **French translations:**  
(1) Et j'ai l'impression que mon français est meilleur que le tien, connard. = And I suspect my French is better than yours, asshole.  
(2) Je t'aime. = I love you.  
(3) Merci, ma belle. = Thank you, beautiful. (lit "my beautiful one")  
(4) Ma reine, mon désir, mon tout-en-tout. = My queen, my desire, my everything. (lit "my all-in-all")


End file.
